The first few months of her life, we spent much of the time outside. I was walking. She was hanging out (usually sleeping) in her stroller or baby pack. I have fond memories of being exhausted, yet happy walking for hours of the day. Both of us enjoying the fresh air. I was especially enjoying the sleeping baby.
She would accompany me on my errands. (She spent hours in Target!) I would put her in the jogging stroller and she would join me on my runs. We would go to the park. We could meet up easily with friends or family. Until my husband came home from work it was just her and I, every day. All day. I cherished having my girl as my little buddy, my sidekick.
When I was pregnant with her little sister, we could not have been more excited. We were looking forward to having another little one to love and giving her a sibling. We had nothing but joy in our hearts.
I knew that our relationship would change when her little sister was born. I had spent practically every minute of every day with her, usually just the two of us. She was my company.
This did not consume me in anyway, but I thought of this change a few times while pregnant. It made me sad to know that our relationship would change. I would have to ignore her at times while tending to baby. We would not be able to cuddle on the couch reading for hours, because the newborn would be consuming our lives. (Side note: I do think there are valuable lessons to be learned from not getting 100% of mom’s attention, 100% of the time.)
One night a few weeks before her little sis was born, I was rocking my girl at bedtime. The changes had already started, as she could not snuggle up on my lap with my large belly in the way. As I sang to her, I could not stop the tears from flowing. I cried as I knew that I would not be able to have this uninterrupted time with her. I would not be able to sit and rock my little darling whenever I wanted. I could not sing to her and cuddle at any hour of the day. I knew that life would change shortly. YES, for the better! But I gave myself that one brief moment to mourn the fact that this would change.
A few weeks later, our sweet baby girl was born.
Having my firstborn visit me at the hospital was so strange. She was typically glued to my side, so for her to be my visitor was odd.
When leaving the hospital with our new baby, I made sure we were home in time to rock her my first girl and put her to bed. I then allowed myself to mourn this change once more. I sang one line to her and the tears came again. It felt so wonderful to cuddle my girl after being away. Oh, how I cherish her! I just needed one more short moment to struggle with this change.
After crying and rocking her that one evening, I can say that I have not felt this sadness over our relationship changing. I see my daughters grow to love and enjoy each other’s company. My daughter now has a sister! She clearly loves her little sis. She looks out for her and even tries to mother her at times. It’s so dear to watch this relationship grow.
How could I be sad that my firstborn and my relationship changed?? She has a new best friend for life.
My daughter was 18 months when her sister arrived. It was actually really hard to enjoy the second one at first, but now that she is older, I just love on both of them all the time. They are such little angels. What a beautiful relationship you had with your daughter before the second arrived!
Letetia Mullenix says
Emily, I read your post at Our Pretty Little Girls, and it is both touching and oh-so-true! I remember when I had my second baby and how I mourned so for my 18 month old. I now have 5, and I can tell you, you mourn for each. But, new bonds are formed and new seasons to mourn appear. Along with new seasons to rejoice! God bless you and your beautiful family! – Letetia
Thank you!! With a baby around you DO miss the older sibling, even though they are right there!
New bonds, new seasons to mourn and new seasons to rejoice…thanks for sharing that!! Lots to rejoice about. :)
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says
I loved this post. It says everything I felt when we had our second child. (And third, and fourth, and fifth.)
Thanks! I figured that this would continue with future kiddos also. :)
Tiffany | A Touch of Grace says
I absolutely loved that post. That is one thing I fear about giving my daughter a sibling. We have such a strong bond and I love our days. It scares me so much to change it. What a heartfelt post.
Thanks, Tiffany! While I did have a little sadness, having two is such a blessing! I still have a strong bond with my oldest. That hasn’t changed! I just looked different for a little bit.
Such a good post- loved it!!
Hey! We are neighbors at the RaRaLinkUp today! I posted a comment over at Beth’s site too but I really do love this. I have a sister and we are best of friends… there was a phase when it wasn’t like that… but it didn’t last long and now we get to laugh and joke about it!! Such blessings girls are :)
Yes, they are blessings!
I am bracing for the years that they may not get along! I hope they will also be the best of friends!
Terri Presser says
What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing with us at Good Morning Mondays. What a blessing to have another little girl to hold and love. Enjoy your time with them. Blessings
Thanks! I try and enjoy it as much as I can… :)
Love this, I remember walking that very same journey! So so thankful that you shared this on Making Memories Mondays!
Sharon Rowe says
I remember those days with found memories, I sometimes wish I could turn the clock back and just have them back as little kids instead of grown adults! Thanks for sharing on Monday Madness link party :)
I already wish to be able to turn back the clock and they are still so young. I cannot imagine what that will be like when they are grown adults!
Betsy @ BPhotoArt.com says
Even if you prepare for it, kids still have a big adjustment period when their little sibling comes along. Thanks for sharing your story :)
Thanks for sharing at #SmallVictoriesSundayLinkup, I’ve pinned to our board and hope you come back to link up again this week!
This is such a beautiful post. And it immediately brought me back to the day before I had my son. My daughter was 3 and I cried almost all day thinking about the fact that I was about to change her life by giving her a sibling. Turns out they are buddies and she is a wonderful big sister. But wow that day was rough and pretty scary for me. Thanks for linking up at MeetUp Monday!
Thank you! It can be emotional, but it sure is fun to see the relationship grow!