She always needs to know where I am. The rare times I am away from her, her first question is: Mom, where will you be?

Grandpa and grandma come over to babysit. Mom, where will you be?

Grandpa and grandma are going to take her to a show. Mom, where will you be?

We are going to grandpa and grandma’s house. Mom, where will you be?

mom where will you be
when my little darling turned two

Unless you count being in labor with her little sister, I have never been away from my three-year old for an overnight. When I told her that she would be spending the night at Grandpa and Grandma’s alone for the first time, she said: I won’t need you there.

Her smiles and giggles were asking for me to grab her and kid around with her, telling her: Of course you need me! We joked around about it, but it got me thinking: I’m not ready for this!!

I feel like in her look she was telling me: Mom, you are attached. You are going to struggle with this. Be prepared. This will not be easy.

No, I’m talking about the night away. I’m talking about the fact that during the upcoming years she will be growing more and more independent from us.

The first few years are so intense. Especially the newborn stage, when they can do NOTHING without dad or mom. I have been home with her, so she really is my little sidekick. We spend every waking second of every day for days (sometimes weeks) in a row when we are not apart. So wonderful, but it makes me brace for what is ahead.

We want her to be capable and independent. We want her to be able make decisions on her own and succeed in taking care of herself. We will want her to move away from dependence on us and move toward being independent. We want her to grow into a confident, competent, responsible adult. We don’t want her to rely on us for each and every detail of life. We want her always lean on her Lord and rely on Him.

Mom, Where Will You Be? Looking Towards Independence.

I realize we are years away {Lord willing} from letting her go. Years away from her moving out. Years away from not having frequent (if not constant) daily interactions with her.

I cannot even comprehend or write about what this looks like. She is three and I rarely think past her going off to kindergarten.

There is so much work between now and then. I’m sure there will be both tears and joy as we figure out how to teach her so that she will be able to thrive on her own. And guide her to continue following her Lord’s guidance.

Her response about not needing me, just gave me a quick glance into what these years will be like. It was just a snippet of thinking about letting her go. I think it will be a struggle for me. I hold her so tight. So close.

She had a rough morning the other day. I gave her extra cuddles and attention because I knew she needed it. It still was not enough. When I finally got out of her what she was fussing about, she said: “I need a hug, mom. I need a little more love right now.”

I was relieved. It brought me back to having a three year old who constantly needs me. I’m a long ways from having to send her off on her own. I’ll just have to gather up strength for what lies ahead. We will grow in this together.

Stop by to see where I link-up my posts each week: Link-Up List

What 7 habits should you add to your morning routine?
Sign up for my newsletter and get free printable.

You will receive free updates, blog posts, and occasional deals sent your way. Frequency?? Just a few times per month.

51 Comments on Mom, where will you be? Looking towards independence.

  1. Letting go is SO hard. My son is three and the first time I dropped him off at a friend’s house for his first day of preschool co-op I wanted to cry. He ran inside, said “bye mom” without even looking back. I wanted to cry. Granted, he was super excited when I came to pick him up, but knowing that he doesn’t need me the way that he used to is really hard.

    • I just try to remember that if they need us that desperately when they are in their twenties, it would drive us nuts! So it’s a good thing…right?

  2. I love this! My youngest is kindergarten bound next year, and I am just not ready to let go! It will be harder on me then on her! Thank you so much for sharing this on Making Memories Mondays! I am so glad that you came!
    Cathy

  3. Awe! I’m still working on it. I was away for one night when my daughter was nearly three, but she was home with daddy. She still hasn’t had her first true overnight without us (she is 3.5). It will probably happen soon and I know she will be fine… but I know I’ll be nervous regardless! Thanks for sharing – I am so there.

  4. This is beautifully written. I understand what you’re saying when letting go. My daughter is only one and there are already glimpses of her independence showing through. Like you, there will come a day when I have to let go as well. And like you said, I’m a long ways from that. Yet, still I can’t help but think about it. I think it makes me cherish these times I STILL have with her though. Where I can still cuddle her and make her feel better. When I can still light up her world and I can still capture her attention with simple things. Time flies quickly with the little ones, and your post just reminded me to cherish each moment I spend with her just a bit more. To hold her tightly just one more time, before she goes off and finds her own independence. Thank you for such a beautiful post :)

    • Very sweet. I do have a feeling that we will not be “lighting up their world” when they are teenagers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  5. It’s true, before you know it, it’ll be letting go time… I once had a toddler, now she’s in her third year of university!, lol. But when you cherish these early years with them, you can also see the goodness and faithfulness of God later, in both your lives.
    This was such a beautiful post! Glad I got to visit from the #RaRaLinkup

  6. My oldest is getting ready to go into first grade, which will be a hard transition to have her away from me all day long. I am truly trying to cherish all the moments I have with my little kids because they really do fly by! Stopping by from Testimony Tuesday

  7. That’s funny, my 3-year-old asks me the same question. Every time I say she’s going somewhere, she asks “where will you be?” I think it’s a sign of their budding maturity to want to know what to expect (whether we’re staying or dropping them off,) and asking ahead so they have time to process and prepare. Pretty cool, I think.

  8. So very sweet!! She is blessed to have you as a momma. Just wait till she hits the tween and teen stage…eeeeek ;) God gives us what we need for each season that is for SURE. <3

    • Thanks, Rachel.

      Oh, I’m not ready for that stage!! Yes, I’ll be praying for strength and guidance when that time comes!!

  9. This is so touching. It brought tears to my eyes. My daughters (3) are grown and I am the WORST at letting go. Even as they are adults, I hang on a bit too tight at times. Of course, I don’t show it to them, but after a day with each other, especially with the grandchildren here, when they leave, I silently fall apart inside. I know sappy, but they all are quite independent, it is just that, “once a mom, always a mom” thing.

  10. I think we have a much harder time with attachment and letting go than they do :). It gets easier in some ways and harder in others. Being a mommy is the hardest, yet most beautiful and amazing role we will ever carry out.

  11. I remember that age and not wanting to let go either, I worked on it a little at a time and still am working on it. Now we are at age 11 and 10 and it’s still a process I work on daily. I tell myself that, probably by the time they make it through the teen years I will be more then ready ;) Thanks for sharing and bringing back sweet memories of when mine were younger and needed me more. Visiting from RaRaLinkup

  12. My girls are 6 and 8, and their first days of school were brutal for me. Terrible. But we all adjusted fast, and now I look forward to when they get off the bus :)
    We take it one day at a time.

    • I just cannot imagine the school years. It will be odd to send them off for the day! That is great it was a quick adjustment for you all.

  13. These little ones grow so fast…holding on and letting go at the same time–wow, it’s just hard! It makes me wonder how God does it with all of us, haha. Thanks for sharing! :)

  14. I love that she came wanting that little hug. Oh, just to hold her close. How precious. Thank you for your heart-string pulling post. It was touching. Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.

  15. How precious. I wish I could rewind the time. My boys are now both teenagers with the oldest about to be 15…I am having to learn about a whole new letting go. He will be driving a car shortly and a few of his friends are already driving. It just terrifies the mess out of me to let him move on to that step.

    • Driving…yikes. Good luck with that!

      Yes, I already want to rewind time some days. I cannot imagine how I will feel when they are teenagers!

  16. Such a sweet post! I’m thankful to have the opportunity to let go a little bit at a time, rather than all at once. But even now that my girls are in their teens and twenties, I still love it when one of them needs me for something. Goodness, sometimes I still need a hug from MY mama, so I hope they never grow out of it completely! :-)

    • Thanks for commenting. I still need my mom also. :)

      Yes, I’m thankful that it’s a gradual process. I hope they never grow from needing a hug from mom!

  17. I am already bracing myself for when my 15 year old daughter leaves home as I realize now how fast time passes. This morning I dropped her at her school for her 1st trip away (three days in Athens), she barely looked back as she strode confidently over to join her friends by the bus.

    I know that independence is important for our children, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am sat here now feeling a little lost, (the house is far too quiet and tidy) but knowing she’ll be back before I know it telling me all about her trip. Well, the bits she wants me to know.

    #SHINEbloghop

  18. Enjoy these moment as everyone says they grow up so fast and they are right. With the right training and connection to God your daughter will grow into a beautiful, independent person who’s trust is in Him. Thank you for sharing at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

  19. There are seasons for everything and if only we could fully enjoy each one! We’d all be such better moms. Thanks for linking with Grace and Truth~ pinning this post now :)

  20. It is so hard to let go! We’ve already began our countdown until summer vacation! I love spending time with my kids, it’s not always easy but it’s wonderful. Thank you for sharing at Women With Intention Wednesdays! I look forward to what you will be sharing this week!

    • Ready for summer vacation already?? :)

      I don’t have kiddos in school, so I don’t even know what it’s like to send them off to school!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *